


Mend this Porcelain Heart of Mine

by EmeraldEyes8917



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Domestic Violence, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, mend this porcelain heart of mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 08:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15945992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldEyes8917/pseuds/EmeraldEyes8917
Summary: As she escapes from a violent relationship, she runs into the night and seeks solace in the one man she could truly rely on.This is a prompt fill for a Tumblr anon who requested a comfort fic with Dan and a character who recently left a violent relationship, which was challenging but rewarding to write.Thank you all as always for reading and commenting as always.





	Mend this Porcelain Heart of Mine

There could only be so many cracks in a porcelain figure that cannot be repaired, the pain remaining the same.

It would take just one more slap, one more kick, one more vicious insult for her to shatter into a million pieces. It had taken hollow words, tearful apologies and countless soft caresses to tape over those broken parts of her, over and over again.

He would go too far one day, when he would not hold back, when he would unleash the strength of his hatred upon her and her life may come to a singular, violent end.

He had beaten her before, when he was not happy with the meals she cooked or if she had been on the phone to friends, or if she passed in front of the television when he was watching sports. Every little thing she did or said was picked apart until she was almost afraid to breathe for fear of provoking him.

She could never eat in front of him, for she chewed too loud and needed to lose weight anyway, in his mind, so she believed him, often going to bed hungry and skipping meals to try and conform to the ideals of beauty that he wanted. 

He was close to convincing her to quit her job so she could stay at home and he could focus on his own career, that her place was in the home and that she belonged to him and only him. It had come to a point where she did not even look up while they were out with the constant fear of meeting another man’s eyes and be accused of wanting to cheat on him.

He would constantly check her phone, accuse her of deleting messages, and stalk her social media pages to make sure that she would not even like photos or posts from other male friends.

One night, he had pressed her phone so hard against the side of her head that the bones in her ear were thrumming for hours after launching into a tirade about a supposed conversation she had with a colleague from work, his hand yanking sharply at her hair to punctuate his meaning, “You’re so fucking sly. I know your game, you little slut. You were talking to him again, weren’t you? I know your expressions, you can’t hide a goddamn thing from me, you little bitch. Next time, I won’t be so kind. I’ll break every fucking bone in your body, you understand?”

All she could do was whimper, “Yes, Jake.”

What followed was a swift backhand and she had fallen to the ground. "Now stay down there where you belong. You’re nothing without me, and it’s about time you realised that.“

It would be so easy just to take such things, to accept them as the truth. It would be so easy to just believe him, that she was nothing, and that she had been flirting with her eyes all the time, that she gave out this vibe that she was going to sleep with every man she came into contact with. It would be so easy to starve herself, to make herself ill, just to fit into that impossible mould of feminine beauty that did not even exist. It would be so easy to distrust her own mind that was screaming that he was wrong, that she did everything for him, had given up so much for him and yet it was never enough.

It would be so easy to just let him murder her…

"No one misses you. No one even looks for you at those fucking parties you like so much. No one would miss you at work. Just look at the state of you, with no fucking talent. I’m the only person who knows what you’re worth. You’re nothing without me…”

Nothing… nothing… nothing…

But tonight, when he had lunged at her in a drunken rage, hands reaching for her throat, calling her a cheating whore, that the man whose music she had been listening to was a lowlife bastard with a stupid band and no talent, that the decision flooded to life like a switch being flicked, bringing reason back to her beaten, downtrodden mind.

I don’t have to take this…

I can fight this…

I am not nothing…

I have to run…

I have to live…

The momentum of her moving away just out of his reach almost sends her falling backwards, but in a surprising agile move, she had turned away from him immediately, the flight instinct kicking in strongly, knocking over a standing lamp to make an extra obstacle for him to traverse, dashing for the apartment door, having some sense to grab her car keys and phone from the hall table, her hands slick with sweat almost sliding off the door knob.

In a moment of sheer panic, she almost thought she was trapped when his heavy footsteps advanced towards her, but a single turn and she had thrust herself out into the corridor, running as fast as she can for the stairwell, not even daring to look back, his voice echoing after her, “Get the fuck back here! Get back here, you little bitch! You’re mine! Get back here, right now!”

She almost trips over her own feet as she descends the four flights to the ground floor, racing with all speed to her car, hands shaking so much that she almost drops the keys, opening the door and sitting in, turning the ignition on.

All the while, she looks in the rearview mirror to check that she hadn’t been pursued, the icy fear that he could very well catch her and drag her back inside ever present.

The car engine roars to life and she pulls out rather recklessly out of the complex parking lot, not even paying attention to the speed limit or the direction she was taking until she was certain that he had not followed her.

It is at least ten minutes before she is even calm enough to think clearly, tears streaming down her cheeks, as the next gas station comes into view on the long, deserted road like a welcome beacon.

Slowly, she turns the car into the small parking lot round the back, switching the engine off and sitting still for a long moment where the only sound was her laboured breathing, before she covers her face and gives into the utter despair and shock that she had escaped her abuser with her life.

Her phone lies on the passenger seat, the screen coming to life with messages, one after another, all commanding her to come back, that they could talk, work it out.

But she knew there was no turning back. If she even set foot in that apartment again, he would either take her in again with more meaningless apologies, or he would wring her neck and leave her for dead.

Never before had she felt so alone, having not confided in any of her friends, having been completely cut off from those she cared for, both in work and in her personal life. Jake had skilfully weaved a complex web of lies that made her believe that she did not need her friends, that she only needed him. It had been a devious manipulation from the beginning where she was nonethewiser, having been so in love and hardly believing that a man like Jake would never notice a girl like her.

The man he had accused her of having an affair with the most often, and whose cover album she had been listening to that night had been one of the few friends she had done her utmost to stay in touch with, despite Jake’s best efforts to keep them separated. 

If she lost everything else in her life, she could not lose her friendship with Danny.

Sweet, kind, steadfast Danny…

Her thoughts come to a singular focus now on him, and her heart begins to ache painfully, knowing that he was her only hope now. His kindness and warm caring had been her touchstones through the violence and mental anguish, where she would listen to one of the more quiet tracks from ‘Under the Covers’, hear his voice and instantly begin to remember how to breathe again.

She had not told him anything about the abuse, or what Jake had been accusing her of pertaining specifically to him, but now she felt that it was time to reach out to Dan, because she needed him so badly.

It was just after nine in the evening as she sat in the gas station parking lot, darting frantic looks as any other car passes by, dialling his number with shaking fingers, listening to the steady ringing sound before he picks up, “Hello?”

All of a sudden, at the sound of his greeting, the gentle cadence of his voice that was a literal godsend, she cannot speak.

“Hello?”

All she can manage is a hitched intake of air.

“Hey… it’s you, isn’t it? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

His name is a rushed exhale, voice cracking and tremulous on those two syllables, “Danny…”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m here… tell me what’s wrong, you sound… I’ve never heard you like this, ever.”

Vision swimming with tears, she mumbles, “I… I… he tried to… I had to… he wanted to kill me, and I… I couldn’t…”

A sharpness rises in his tone, mixed with urgency, “Woah, woah, slow down. Who wanted to kill you? What is going on?”

“Jake… he… he wanted to hurt me again… he nearly attacked me, I had to run, I had to get away… and now I’m here in my car and I am so frightened and I just… I just… I don’t know what to do… I don’t know where to go, I’m just stuck and I can’t… I can’t…”

Dan’s voice becomes quite loud, “Oh my God… are you hurt? Did you say you’re in your car? Is he still there? Where are you?”

She manages to breathe quite deeply, doing her utmost to remain calm and not cause him any undue worry, “No, no, I’m fine. He almost grabbed me and I don’t know what he would have done. I just ran away, got to my car and just drove as fast and as far away as I could. I’m behind a gas station miles away, he didn’t follow me. I had to leave, he was going to kill me… I can’t… I can’t… please… please, help me, Danny, please…”

“Slow down, slow down. Listen, just take a deep breath. Just breathe, you’re okay. Let me think for a second…”

She can hear Dan’s footsteps, as if he was pacing about and she can only imagine how agitated he was and it was all her fault. She just had to drag him into this, she couldn’t have just gone on alone…

She does as he asks, leaning forward until her forehead is resting on the steering wheel, willing her brain to stop firing on all cylinders, to be calm and to let Dan help her rather than become hysterical.

“Where are you?”

On the drive, she had not paid any attention to roadsigns or any landmarks, so she admits quietly, “I don’t know, I just kept driving. A few miles from the apartment, I think?”

“Stay there, let me come to you.”

The guilt floods her in a rush, “No, please. I can’t have you coming out in the middle of the night.”

“I’m already out the door, so I’m doing this.”

She sniffs, wiping her cheek with her sleeve, “Okay…”

“Send me a Google maps or one of those map pin things to let me know where you are. Don’t get out of your car until you see me, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll do that.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, sweetheart, okay? I’m on my way, I’ll be right with you. Stay in your car, I’m on the way.”

She can only manage one more 'Okay’ before she has to hang up, quickly dropping a location pin on Google maps and sending it to him, clutching her phone tight like a lifeline and praying for him to get to her soon.

 

Twenty minutes later…

The headlights of an approaching car make her freeze, having been a tightly coiled spring ever since ending the previous phonecall, but as soon as they are switched off and the driver exits, the wild halo of curls and tall, lean figure are unmistakeable.

He steps towards the car, ducking down slightly to peer through the windscreen at her, his eyes wide and his lips mouthing her name.

Her movements are almost in slow motion as she pushes open her own door, stepping out and saying his name with such desperation, “/Danny/…”

She does not make it three steps before he sprints over to her, arms open wide and catches her in a strong, clumsy hug as all her strength fails and she sags against him, clinging on as if her very life depended upon it.

Luckily, they are close to a side wall of the gas station as he leans back and slightly to the left, lowering himself down to the ground, holding her against him, rocking her gently and murmuring her name over and over.

“You’re safe… you’re safe… no one is going to hurt you… you’re safe, sweetheart… I’m here, ssshhhh…”

Her sobs are loud and unrestrained as she buries her face in his chest, pouring out all the pain that she had endured for so long, hands trying to find purchase in the material of his jacket, needing his stability, his comfort, this safe haven.

After several minutes of weeping and having Dan gently stroke down her hair, when she quietens down, she allows Dan to help her to her feet, and she leans against him as they walk to his car.

As they pull up in front of Dan’s house, her phone had not stopped vibrating with missed calls and messages, which they both elected to not acknowledge.

He reaches for her phone and decisively switches it off, throwing it rather sharply into the glove compartment and shutting it with a snap that makes her jump.

He immediately looks over at her with a sorrowful expression, “Shit… sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“No, it’s okay.” Her heart thumping loudly in her ears told a different story but she attempts to give him a smile, despite her prickling nerves.

“I just… he wouldn’t leave you alone and it pissed me off… sorry…” Resting his head back against the seat, he breathes slowly, eyes shut.

The silence becomes quite awkward now as she stares downwards, wringing her hands, clenching tightly and untwisting her fingers, feeling utter shame at how low she had come to before realising that she could have just left him.

She hears Dan whisper her name and she looks over with large eyes glimmering with unshed tears, “Let’s get inside, okay?”

Nodding, she opens the passenger door, following him with her head bowed, looking back over her shoulder with still some measure of paranoia, that somehow Jake could track her phone or her smell like a bloodhound, that he would find her and drag her back.

She manages to keep all that worry well hidden as Dan leads her into his house with one hand on her back, locking the door and sliding the security chain across.

“There. No one is getting in here.”

She nods, that small measure of relief quite strong.

“Take a seat, make yourself at home.”

He gestures to the sitting room and she makes her way to the sofa, sitting on the edge, fiddling with her sleeves, doing her best to breathe steadily, that lingering fear still present despite being in Dan’s home where she was safe.

After a few minutes, Dan returns from the kitchen with a plate and a mug in hand, setting them down in front of her on the coffee table.

She glances over, and notices that it is a grilled cheese sandwich cut into four triangles, a knife and fork beside it and the mug is filled with tea.

“There wasn’t much in my fridge, I just whipped up what I could, but grilled cheese is always a winner in my book.”

Dan sits beside her with a soft smile, tucking one leg under his knee and resting his elbow on the back of the sofa, but still keeping a small space between them.

Instantly, her mind goes into overdrive about calorie content and not being able to exercise to burn the fat, but her exterior is quite calm. She smiles, saying politely, “Thank you, but I’m not hungry, I’m sorry you went to this trouble.”

Dan tips his head to one side, giving her a firm look, “I heard your stomach growl on the way over.”

“Still… I’m not hungry.”

He was being so kind, but she didn’t deserve it. She had already brought him out in the middle of the night and now she was going to eat his food. She didn’t deserve it…

Dan frowns, “You’ve had a shock, you have been running on adrenaline all night and you need to keep your strength up.”

She is close to snapping at him, restraining herself to say in a tight voice, “I told you that I’m not hungry.”

She did not want to have this argument, to make up an excuse that she had no appetite when she was actually starving, that if he had a piece of fruit that she would prefer it instead, having gone without dinner to reach Jake’s goal weight to be finally deemed perfect in his eyes.

But she knew deep down that even a healthy choice would fill her with guilt, so low had her self esteem become.

Dan blinks quite fast, his voice cracking, “You look so pale and you’re shaking. Please… why won’t you eat?”

“I don’t want to be fat.”

The words spoken in a rushed whisper hang in the air and the shock on Dan’s face cuts deeper than any blade.

He shakes his head several times, saying so softly, “Listen to me… you are not going to be fat. You need to be healthy and not become ill. You can’t hurt yourself this way…”

Dipping her head, white hot shame coursing through her, she smothers a whimper, knowing that he was right, but she just couldn’t bring herself to even look at the sandwich on the plate, the fear of weight gain hanging over her like the sword of Damocles.

There is a clink of cutlery against the plate and she brings herself to look up again, watching as Dan cuts a small section of one of the triangles, putting it on the fork and raising it up between them.

“Please… just one piece? For me, please?”

His eyes are soulful, full of tears and the fact that he had to beg her to eat was more than she could bear.

Obediently, after much mental anguish, she manages to lean forward, opening her mouth with great reluctance, and he gently feeds her the piece of the sandwich, tilting her chin up with his index finger as he lifts the fork out and away from her mouth.

That simple contact almost made her tremble, but she does not let on.

She chews slowly, feeling the crunchy and soft textures along with the firework explosion of flavour on her tongue as she swallows thickly, the food making its way into her empty stomach and she lets out a contented sigh as Dan visibly brightens with relief.

“Better?”

“Yes… I will eat the rest. You were right, I am really hungry… I’m sorry for lying…”

“Don’t apologise, it’s okay. Just don’t make yourself sick.”

“I won’t. Thank you…”

Dan nods, standing up and making his way back to the kitchen in order to give her some privacy, for which she was extremely grateful.

Picking up the knife and fork, she cuts the rest of the sandwich up and eats it slowly, despite wanting to cram it all into her mouth, humming in pleasure, almost embarassed at reacting in such a way, since it was only an ordinary grilled cheese sandwich and not a gourmet meal. 

But the fact that Dan had made it, that he had wanted to make her strong again after he being so beaten down, it filled her up with energy and nourishment on so many levels.

She takes several large swallows of tea, not even caring to ask if he had put sugar or skimmed milk in it, only wanting to drink it down.

Feeling warm and pleasantly full, she allows herself to lie down on the sofa with a cushion beneath her head, sense beginning to unwind, sleep creeping into slowly but surely.

She hears Dan’s footsteps approaching, and he leans down, saying quietly, “Tired?”

“Yeah…”

“Come on, you can sleep in my bed tonight.”

This was too much. He had rescued her in the middle of nowhere, made her food and now he was offering her his bed.

“Dan…”

“I insist. My house, my rules. You deserve a good rest and my bed happens to be super comfortable and comically large.”

Not having the strength to argue, she nods in silent agreement, following him to the bedroom, pushing any wayward romantic thoughts from her mind.

“You can borrow a shirt if you want, just so you’re not sleeping in your clothes. I know how uncomfortable that can be sometimes.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Searching through his drawers, she comes across a 'Rush’ band t-shirt that she had admired previously, which had been her first introduction to the band he loved so much, remembering when he had made her a playlist of his favourite songs, which was quite lengthy and had been the greatest solace during Jake’s torrent of abuse apart from his own music.

The shirt is like a dress on her and that feeling of safety is increased even more.

There is a quiet knocking at the door, followed by Dan asking through the door, “You okay?”

She hurriedly folds her clothes and goes over the the bed, getting under the covers, and lying on her side, facing the door, calling out, “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Is it okay if I come in?”

“Yes.”

Dan peeks his head in the door, “You were able to find something?”

She nods, pushing the blankets down a little bit and he chuckles as he recognises the logo, “Good choice.”

A pause.

“So… I’ll just say goodnight.”

Disappointment floods her suddenly, and she inquires quite innocently, “You’re not sleeping in here?”

“No, the couch will be fine.”

Raising an eyebrow, she raises herself up onto one elbow, “Dan, you are hardly going to fit on that couch. I know you are tall.”

Dan looks aghast, “I’m… tall? Say it isn’t so.”

Shaking her head with a smile, she says quite softly, “I’ve imposed enough on you. I am not depriving you of this large bed or a good night’s sleep. I’d feel bad…”

Dan huffs a sigh, “Well… I didn’t want to… like, make you uncomfortable, and I thought that you maybe wanted to have some space, that’s all. But… you’d like to share the bed?”

Rather than giving him a word answer, she shifts back until there is enough space for him to lie down in front of her, stretching her arm across the mattress and patting the space several times, with no hint of longing or flirtation, only a want for him to sleep comfortably.

Dan gives in with a quiet chuckle, “I’ll just get the lights.”

Turning over onto her opposite side, her back to him now, she closes her eyes just as the lights are flicked off, listening to the sound of rustling clothing and shoes being discarded, feeling the mattress dip slightly as Dan crawls into bed behind her, lifting the blankets and getting under the covers with her.

Still, she does not move, very aware of her own breathing and pulse thundering in her ears.

“I… I tend to sleep with my shirt off… good old California weather, but I can put something on, if you…”

“No, it’s fine… it’s pretty warm this time of year.”

“Okay. Well… goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

A pause.

She hears Dan say her name once again and she makes a quiet sound of inquiry, “Just one last thing, that I sometimes toss and turn in my sleep, so if I am moving too much, just nudge me and I’ll stop.”

“Okay.”

A pause.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

Grateful for the darkness so he cannot see her obvious blushing, she asks shyly, “Can we… I mean… I’d like to hold your hand…”

“My hand?”

“Yeah… just to know that you’re there.”

Way to sound so pathetic…

“Sure… just let me… I’m just going to move up behind you… and put my arm around you…”

His arm comes around her waist, his hand coming to rest lightly on her belly, the warmth radiating outwards from his palm that makes her shudder pleasantly as he holds her securely against his chest, stretching out so they can easily spoon together.

Tentatively, she covers his hand, sliding her fingers in between his and holding as tight as she could, his fingers curling inwards in response.

Her eyes flutter closed as he presses a light kiss to her hair, just above her temple, his breathing stirring the strands close to her ear, before he begins a gentle humming of a melody that she cannot place, but is not unlike a soft lullaby.

Just let me stay here… let me stay here with you, please… please, just let me stay…

More than anything, she wanted to look into his eyes, to lose herself in them, and tell him everything that she had been too afraid to even express in a phonecall or a text, when her abusive partner had threatened to break her phone if she ever spoke to him.

But Jake wasn’t here anymore. She was with Danny, and all was right in the world.

Carefully turning over in his arms until she is laying on her back, she gazes up at Dan, finding that their faces were much closer together than she had predicted, and his hitched breath gusts against her lips as their eyes meet, even in the dark of the bedroom, she knows without question that he was looking straight at her.

Without even thinking, she inclines her head upwards those last few inches to gently kiss the corner of his mouth, wanting in some small way to thank him for everything he had done tonight that she could not express in mere words.

Before she can move her head back down again, Dan has turned his face more towards her and their lips brush together featherly light, the sensation making her heart knock loudly in her ears while Dan shifts closer, their legs sliding against each other as he presses along the entire length of her body, wrapping her up in his embrace and the tangle of blankets, nuzzling her nose with a quiet murmur, “You’re so beautiful…”

Not giving her a chance to reply, he has leaned down for a soft kiss, catching her lower lip and making her back arch with a needy sound, tilting his head and pecking her lips gently once again, dotting kisses across her cheeks and her nose before gently kissing her once more, still so softly.

Not simply content to just lie there, she slowly slides her hand up the side of his neck, weaving her fingers through the soft, thick curls, cupping his cheek and responding with shy eagerness.

When they draw apart from air, Dan lets out a breathless chuckle, “Wow… that was… wow.”

She cannot help but giggle at his lack of vocabulary, hardly blaming him as her own mind was still cloudy after such sweet kisses, still playing with his hair while looking up at him with doe eyes.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes… more than okay, now.”

“Good. I don’t want to rush things, like… you’ve had a fucking terrible time and you need to be taken care of, and I want to do that for you. I mean, if that’s what you want?”

Swallowing thickly past the lump in her throat, she manages to whisper, “That’s all I want. I just want you…”

Dan appears to be quite moved at this, raising his hands to gently cup her face, holding her in place so they can keep that steady, intense eye contact, “I’m here, if you need me. Tonight and for as long as you need, okay? I’ll take care of you however you want and nothing is going to change that.”

“You promise?” Her voice cracks with emotion, as Dan leans down to kiss her lips, murmuring, “I promise, baby… I promise…”

Leaning their foreheads together, he says gently, “I think we should sleep now. You’ve had a long night.”

As much as she wanted to stay up all night with him, she lets out a quiet yawn, rubbing her eyes. "Okay…“

"I’ll be right here beside you, okay, sweetheart?”

“Okay… thank you.”

“No problem. Just rest now. I’ve got you and you’re safe.”

The thought that she loved him crossed her mind, but remained unspoken for now, even as he returned to spooning her, nuzzling his face into her neck after giving her one last kiss goodnight, their hands finding each other and dovetailing together.

This must be what a safe haven felt like: she never thought it could ever exist again for her, but here it was in his arms, loving her back to life.


End file.
